I'm Back :-)

I know it has been a minute, but here is a video update.

I have a lot to update everyone on, so expect a few new videos this week.  I am working on my goals and I want to share a few culture things I've experienced with ya'll.

For now, I'll keep enjoying my banana.

Laters Ya'll,
missPhyl

In major need of prays

As some of you may know, about a year ago I started getting really depressed. I reached my breaking point in mid-November and reached out to my therapist from years ago.  Through our time together, she strongly suggest I go a therapy workshop at Onsite.  While I was not financially equipped to attend the Learning to Love Yourself program, The Lord made a way and I was able to attend.  Anyone who knew me well before and after the program could easily see the dramatic change in me.  Honestly, even people who knew me from a far would come up to me and tell me they noticed the change.  The Lord used the experience at Onsite changed my life drastically.

However, in the past week, I have felt myself being effected by everything here in a very negative way.  I continue to look towards God for guidance and he has put many wonderful people in my life to help.  It's just been with EVERYTHING that keeps going wrong with this transition, I start questioning if I am really supposed to be here.  Don't get me wrong, with all that has been going wrong, there are so many blessing from God.

He is answering prayers I've had for years left and right.
He is working on both Tom and I spiritually and leading us into very similar directions at the same time.  It's so incredible to see Him answer prayers, at what seems like, the moment I pray them.  Once I spent hours praying about very specific things in our relationship.  Tom and I didn't talk for about 2 days after that, due to my lack of internet.  When we finally talked he started telling me all these spiritual things that have been happening with him and the timeline lined up with my prayer session.  All I could do was smile.
Also, I have found a great church where I can get poured into spiritually.  The women's bible study I've started attending seems to have been built by God for me. (I know the class is not just for me, but it fits everything I've been seeking for years.) Then, there are wonderful ladies around my age I hang out with from church.  Most are ex-pat teachers or Korean who are really with English.  One of the American girls is into knitting and she will help me get connected with her group of knitters within the next 2 weeks.
At school, I feel as if I am improving by leaps and bounds everyday.  I have finally learned all the students names and am getting better and better at my problem areas.  My students get excited to see me which makes me feel as if I am doing something right.
All in all I feel like I am settling in very well.

(I am about to share something I've never talked with anyone about until I told Tom the other day.*)
However, with all the issues getting here, from delayed paper work to my physical journey here(read about it) and my housing and medical issues, I am feeling very attacked.  I have been hearing about a lot of spiritual warfare(Christiany verbiage) and have been digging into scripture to set my mind on things above.  However, with me getting really spiritually fatigue lately, I think it has started to open up a lot of old issues.  The depression seems to be slowly coming back, so I ask for you prayers about this.
On top of that I had a visit from an old demonic being I used to deal with as a child.*  I honestly don't remember when was the last time I had a visit from him, but I know it was the same one from before.  That entire night I could not sleep for more than 30-45 minutes and which has thrown off my sleeping pattern.  Also, the growth of the depressive feeling/ weight has been growing at a quicker rate.
I had Tom pray right after it appeared.  Once Rachael returned from her Chuseok trip, she prayed as well.  And I have been praying about it since the moment it appeared.
I can feel it taking a toll on me and all relationships around me.  I can also feel myself slipping into my depressive tendency to want to be by myself.  Before I went to Onsite, I was terrified to sleep in a place by myself.  God used Onsite to rid me of that fear.  Well, since that night I have been growing increasingly frightful of moving into my place and sleeping by myself. (Don't get me wrong, I am also very excited about have my own space.)

I have been praying without ceasing about these issues and The Lord has given me a few ideas.  One, to get me out of the apartment, I might start Geocashing.  Unlike when I lived in Europe, I have had zero desire to explore this place.  Everyone who knows me knows new experience and learning about other cultures are two things that excite me most.  But for some reason, I feel numb towards this city.  So, I am praying Geocashing will force me to leave the apartment and also get me excited about Seoul.
Secondly, and this is IMPORTANT, I want to ask everyone to join me in praying for my apartment and my space TUESDAY 24 SEPT 2013.  Pray this demon does not step foot in my apartment, my school, my church or any other space I frequent.  It does not have permission and in the name of Jesus, he is NEVER welcomed around me again.

(photo from the bridge on my way to work, this was not meant to look design-y)

Gotta get ready for work now.

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl

Happy Chuseok

Chuseok is "Korea Thanksgiving."  Many Koreans head back to their hometown and spend time with family.  According to visitkorea.com, many partake in Beolcho, weeding your ancestors grave.  This year Chuseok fall on a Thursday, but the day before and the day after are also considered as part of the holiday.  Thus, I have a FIVE DAY WEEKEND!  If you'd like to read more about the holiday check out Visit Korea's page about Chuseok.

(courtney's kraze burgers & my chicken and rice | chuseok eve meal)

(we made a chuseok mean together)

Courtney and I also made some decorations for your apartments.  I'd been eyeing this project on Pinterest for over a year now and I finally did it.  It was fun watching the two of use work.  I am such a perfectionist and I wanted EVERYTHING to be perfect.  Where as Courtney is more loose with her approach, but I think so far both are very lovely. I however injured myself and now probably have a scar with the hot glue.

If you want to know how we made(are still making) the flowers, here is a link to the blog I found through Pinterest.  Her directions were a little confusing so if you want some clarification just ask me. Hint: make sure you draw the petal with the lines on the paper going up and down.  If you don't the petals will come out limp.

(balloons with paper mâché)

(cutouts of petals 1-4)

(my injury from the hot glue)

(half way there)

Laters Ya'll,
missPhyl

The week in review: vlog

(my door | the phytoncide people are in there cleaning)

(bacon, spanish & mushroom omelette and OJ )

(got caught eating with rachael at 11:45pm)

(american pizza at bonny's after church with the ladies)

(went to the han river after church)

Two Weeks Down

This week was my first week teaching.  All in all its good.  I already have a favorite student, it's ok for me to say that, right?  His name is Alex and he is in one of my one-student classes.  He is so incredibly smart and such a joy to be around.  I end my Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays with him.

All in all the kids in my class have fully warmed up to me.  Some are more talkative than others, but I think a lot has to do with comprehension levels. When they see me in the hall they smile and say, "Hi, Jande Teacher."  That's how the students address the teachers.  They call us by our first name and add the word "teacher" after.  It's really cute.

I have one class, my Nina class, that I am still working on figuring how to get a handle on them.  They are a larger class for our Junggye campus, 10 students.  I need to figure out a better way to check their homework and keep order in the classroom.  I have to check their homework in class because they need to take their books home after class to do homework for the next day.  I wish I could rip the pages out and check them not in class, but that is not an option.  I am working on an idea for a new approach this week, if anyone has any ideas, let me know.  Pray I figure out something soon.

Other than that, the week was great with the students.

*****ROOM DRAMA*****

I am in a bit of a situation with my apartment right now.  I am still living on Rachael's couch because the guy who lived in my apartment before me smoked.   Eunice, My Asian, and I spent a very long time woking on getting the smell out of the place.  We sprayed Soju all over the walls.  We scrubbed down the place with bleach.  We also covered the mattress with baking soda.  I even paid to get rid of the couch he left hoping that all this would help get the smell out, but still smoky smelling.

(the mattress with baking soda for the odor)

(my welcome package from the school)

(so glad to have my asian in my life now. don't know what i would do without her during this time,)

Those of you who know me know I CANNOT live in a smoky apartment.  I have been trying to get the school and HR to re-wallpaper my apartment and possible get me a new mattress. It's been a bit of an ordeal and I ask you to join me in prayer about the situation.  I cried for the first time I can remember at work on Tuesday partially due to the drama over the situation.

When I talked to the school and told them all the work I'd put into trying to get rid of the smell, their suggestion was for me to burn a candle.  Seriously???? I almost laughed at first because I didn't think that was their serious suggestion.  Apparently, they were serious.  I told them, I will do as you suggest, but I WILL NOT spend anymore of my money on this issue.  It is their job to take care of this.  So, they got me a candle.  I wish I'd take a photo of the candle but forgot.   As of this morning, the candle has completely burned out. I have also had the window opened for a week.  On top of that, I borrowed someone's air purifier.  Still the place smells smoky and is NOT livable.

Keep me and this situation in your prayers please.  I truly believe The Lord has me here for a reason and I don't want Satan's distractions to get in my way.

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl

For those of you who don't have facebook, this is what Rachael and I did last week.

If you remember, last Monday, we both wore black and white striped dress.  Well, Tuesday morning, we bother pool out coral dresses.  When we got to school, one of the Korean teachers laughed and commented on our dresses look similar again.

Then on the way back from school the security guard started speaking Korean to us.  Since neither of use speak the language... yet, we just did a lot of smiling and nodding.

As Rachael and I walked away from him and loaded the elevator, it hit me.  I turned to her and said, "I think we just told him we are lesbians.'  We both just laughed, because it is so easy to communicate something without knowing what you are saying.

When we got to the room we remembered we forgot to take a photo together in our coral dresses.  One thing led to another and this jewel was birthed.

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl

Where am I and what am I doing?

The first week was great and a bit of a whirlwind.  I finally went to Avalon English's Junggye campus to work with the LangCon program.  Ok, so what do all those words mean? I know a lot of you don't fully understand what I am doing, honestly I am still trying to fully understand what's going on around me.  Let me explain what I know thus far.

Avalon, is one of the biggest and, according to My Asian, top three English hogwan programs in Korea.  Hogwans, in simple terms, are after school programs.  At Avalon the students can attend a 3 day program (MWF) or a 2 day program(TF).  LangCon, from what I've understood so far, are the lower level students in the Avalon English structure.  However, I have met some students at LangCon with better reading, writing and comprehension skill than many students in the US her age.  I am not entirely sure at what point students move up to Avalon's other program, which I believe is called Champ.  Since I missed orientation, a lot of things are still fuzzy.

Junggye's is one of the five main sections of Nowon(pronounced no-juan).  Nowon is one of the 25 gu(districts) of Seoul. Seoul, in case you don't know, is the "Soul of Asia" and the capital of the Republic of Korea.  I don't know a lot about geographical break down of Seoul, but feel free to check out Seoul Village, a blog I used to help he better understand.

(map of seoul with nowon)

For the first few days several of the students had dramatic external reactions to me.  I was told, but I already knew this, that Korea's have a reputation of being prejudice towards black people.  Apparently it is mostly because of a lack of exposure.  In a few students' eyes I saw genuine fear when they first laid eyes on me sitting in their classrooms for observations.  It was really neat to see the fear, shock and bewilderment melt away and turn into curiosity.  There are still a few student who I have not had the chance to be in their class, so they still look, point, whisper and giggle, but for the most part the student body has warmed up to me.

*****

Sidebar: Seriously, black people, outside of Itaewon, the Black People Capitol of Seoul, are few and far between.  Up until Saturday when Eunice, My Asian, took me to Itaewon, I had not seen any black people outside of the handful at Rachael's church, Onnuri.  So, when saw this group of people at the train station in Ichon, I had to take a picture.  I made Rachael pose for a fake photo just to capture the moment.  Apparently, I was not ninja enough, because it totally looks like that guy is staring into my lens.  Probably shouldn't have had her posing for several seconds while I took several photos.

(black people in korea)

*****

Back to explaining. As a foreign teacher, I try to help young Korean students(grade 1-6) better understand, read and speak English.  At Avalon Junggye's campus there are 4 Korean teachers and 4 foreign teachers and for now we all get along.  Students have one class taught by an foriegn/native speaker teacher and one taught by a Korean teacher.  Right now I am mainly teaching Language Arts, but have one class where I'll be teaching social studies.  We teach the beginners the alphabet and simple words.  As the students progress through the program, harder task are required for them.  The most advance students are writing and communicating so well they make presentations and have debates in English.  It's quite impressive.

Mostly, I teach students the mid range students.  I have only one class where the students are just leaning words in English, my Atlas class (I'll talk about the class names and breakdown the system later). Other than that, most of my students can form very simple sentences in English.  My class sizes range from 1-11.  I teach 9 different blocks of 6 types of classes over 2 days this semester.  Today, I taught both of my one student classes, however I had an extra student in the class that's supposed to be just one boy.  Apparently she's in my class only Monday and Friday this week.  I am extremely excited to teach these one-on-on classes because they are in my wheelhouse.

In one of those one-on-one classes, I have a girl a lot of the teachers say they dread teaching, but I am excited.  She reminds me of all the wonderful times I have had in the past 7.5 years as a private tutor to so many lovely young women.  I really think I can help her focus and push past her attention issue.  Plus, this one-on-one attention might be what she needs to drastically advance her English skills.  I have three months with her this semester and I cannot wait to see how The Lord will use me on her life. 

That's about it for now.  It's really late here and I need to get my brain rested for day two. 

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl

First Day

Yesterday was my first day and all in all it was good.  Since I woke up at 3am and didn't start work until 1pm, I was afraid that by 9 pm, quitting time, I would have been dead to the world.  I didn't get tired until the end of the very last class, so not bad.

Well, before school, Rachael and I ran a few errands. First, we went to KB Bank to exchange my money.  My $465.00 turned into ₩514,104.  I'm balling!  The exchange rate at that bank was ₩1,105.60 for $1.

(korean wons/ what i have left)

After KB Bank, we went to shop for food at emart. Emart is like a Wal-Mart, seriously. You can get food, house hold goods and pets.  Apparently it is closed every other Sunday as a government mandate to help small businesses.  I had no idea what to buy since I don't know what most of foods were.  I need to do research about shopping for food and cooking in Korea.  I purchased stuff for spaghetti since it's easy recognize.  Rachael and I purchased sweet potatoes and cucumber from a street vender.  It's pretty neat to get your food from the side of the road.  Rachael showed me the guy she thinks has the best quality produce.  So far I've had his cucumbers and there were yummy!!!!

After shopping we had to make our way back home to head to school.  Instead of walking back with our bags, we took the subway.  To help me get orientated, she made me tell use which way to go.   I feel I did a good job.  I got us on the right platform and off at the correct stop.  Then, although I was confused for a second, I get us back to her flat.  Once there we packed food for the work day and got dressed.  Turns out we have similar dresses! So we had to wear them.

(twins! / asian peace sign)

It's about a 20-30 minute walk to school but we left a bit early to get lunch.  We had kimshi kimbab from a little restaurant on Junggye-Dong.  The owner, Ma(pronounced May), is this really cute older Korean woman.  I think I was expecting it to be a quick in and out thing, but she made our kimbabs when we ordered.  I also was not expecting the amount of food we got for ₩2,500($2.25).

(this was yummy and cheap)

Since I missed orientation last week, I spent the first little bit of the work day with the head teacher.  He gave me a lot of information and throw a lot at me.  Everything seemed a bit disjointed at first, but he also gave me a lot of helpful information.  Then, I spent the rest of the day observing 3 teachers.  Rachael was AMAZING! She's like a pro with those kids.  I can't wait to start working with them and using what I've learned from observing her.

All in all it was a very good first day.  Time to start day number 2.

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl

I'm here... finally

So, it's 4:30am and I've been up for 1.5 hours now.  I slept well my first night, with some help of Nyquil(I hate that stuff, but I had a stuff nose).  I figured it time to catch everyone up.

I left Nashville around 7:50 but had to say goodbye to Tom's around 6:30am.

(i'm gonna miss this man)

I don't remember crying as we hugged for the last time, but the moment my passport and boarding pass were handed back to me I turned around and say his handsome face and tears began to fall out of my eyes.  Gave him a quick wave and walked to the security line.  Just as I had almost regained my composure, I hear, "Is that Jande Jackson behind me."  It was Dan and Carol from Brentwood Baptist.  The sight of them, unexpected familiar faces, cause the flood gates to open, again.  I embraced Carol and cried for a second, but quickly re-composed myself.  Time to fly.

I flew from Nashville to Denver, Denver to San Francisco(SFO), then from San Francisco to Seoul(INC).  I chose this route so I could take the shortest flight I found from The States to Seoul possible.   The flight from SFO to ICN was 11.25 hours. Other departure options were Chicago(13.5 hours) or Los Angeles(12.5) might have been easier because my trip would have been one less stop from Nashville. And I might have avoid the craziness I'm about to describe.

Since I stayed up all night before my trip, I was exhausted.  I slept for most of the flight to Denver.  Then I ran to Caribou Cafe to grab a smoothie and was on the flight be San Fran within an hour. No problem.  It was a "Sweet and short stop."

(mango keylime smoothie)

In Denver we sat on the run way for 15-20 minutes.  I was a little worried since I know I had only about an hour to catch my international flight in SFO.  I was in and out during the flight from Denver to San Francisco, but we landed about 50 minutes before my flight was to take off.  As I got off the plane I asked an employee of United to direct my to my gate as it was not printed on my ticket.  She sent my to B38.  I quickly got the feeling she was wrong, so I approached a second employee planning on her iPad.  She barely looked at me when she replied, "That's not our airline."  "You need to check the boards over there," she said as she pointed in a vague direction.  Now I'm starting to get a little worried because I have on 45 minutes left.

I stopped and asked 4 other airport staff and personals before I got and real help and direction (35 minutes until take off for flight OZ 211).  I was informed I wad to leave the section of the airport I am in and go through security.  When I arrived at security, I told the women at the start I have less than 30 minutes before my flight takes off.  She waves her hand, with much disdain in her body language, to the right where the previous gentleman walked.  I repeated what I'd said, because I wasn't sure she understood I needed to get through the line quickly.  She got upset and barked, "There is nothing I can do."  I asked, how long would the wait be and she muttered something about not knowing but I need to get in line.  Luckily the other woman told me the line to the right was a shorter line. 

So, with 28 minutes left I got into line.  The Gentleman in front of me seemed as anxious as I felt.  The line had about 10 people ahead of me, so at first I was not too worried when the first 4 went through within a couple of minutes.  Then the security personnel stopped check my line's passports and tickets and focused solely on the line to the right, which consisted mostly(80%) of airline employees and regular looking passengers(20%).  Nervously The Gentleman and I watched nervously for what seemed like eternity, but was about 10 minutes, as our line only decrease by one person.

Finally he'd had enough and he flagged down a TSA employee henceforth known as MH(My Hero).  As soon as The Gentleman told MH our flight leaves in less than 20 minutes, MH's eyes grew larger.  You could see MH was formulating a plan rapidly as he looked over his shoulder scanning the surroundings.  In that moment, The Gentleman turns to me and says, if he lets me thought, just act like you are with me.  Then immediately The Gentleman and I were pushed to the front of another line and MH started spitting out orders to other TSA employees and other passengers.  "Check their tickets next."  "Please wait."  "They are next."

As my ticket and passport were being checked, I got the idea to speed up the process.  I started removing my boots and belt.  By the time the TSA employee handed me my ticket, I have one boot off and have undone my belt. (I know. *eye roll* Don't wear a belt to travel, but I wore Tom's favorite outfit so that would be the last physical image he had of me. Now time for you to roll your eyes.)  I got to the conveyer belt and removed my belt and other boot.  Tossed them in a bin.  Tossed my pillow and jacket in another.  Took out Rachael's and my laptops and was through the scanner before I know it.

When I get to the other side MH is there helping gather my things.  He calls me to the other side of the belt, the employee side, and I start to get everything back in its place as MH disappears.  Boots on feet, check.  Belt went in bag with laptops.  Then all of a sudden another TSA employee starts to yell at me, "Ma'am you need to get from behind there. Ma'am you CANNOT be there."  MH popped out of nowhere and says, "It's ok.  It's ok.  She can be there."  Finally I draped my pillow and my jacket on my roller and look up to see MH motioning me towards him and a man in black with walkie.

As I get closer, MH said, "Yes, she is on an Asian flight that leave shortly."  The man asked me for my boarding pass and passport and started walking very quickly.  I handed them to him as I followed him.  I struggled to keep up with with his brisk walk because I had to balance my roller with things on top of it and my VERY HEAVY backpack was only on my right shoulder.  Then the men in black said, "Can you run?" at the same moment a voice on the intercom said, "Will passenger Jande-Phyl Jackson please report to gate A12 for final boarding to Seoul". I replied, "Yes [I can run]" as he took off with me in pursuit.  Within 30 seconds my pillow and jacket were on the floor and the heavy backpack became too much to carry on one shoulder.  I keep on eye on the man running so I don't loose him and I take a second to gather my things.  Quickly I catch up with him and we ran for about 100 yards to the escalators.  He kept running down the escalators, but all by baggage prevented me from doing so.  When I made it to the bottom I squeezed past a giant pillar to see the man in black handing my passport and boarding passes to the Asiana employees at the desk. As I arrive at the gate they say, "You barely made it."

I got on the plane and took my seat.  During the flight there served 2 hot meals(I choose American meal because I'd rather eat bad American airplane food than taint my view towards Korean food with airplane quality), one sandwich, one snack bag.  I watched "42", "The Big Wedding", "Identity Thief" and started "Accepted."  I also slept on and off. 11.25 hours later and in Seoul.

(steak meal was ok)

(hello Seoul)

I arrived at Incheon International Airport (Seoul's international airport) around 6pm on Saturday.  After going through immigration I head to belt 18 to search for my bags.  I waited for a bit but saw no sigh of my bags.  Then suddenly I hear on the intercome, "Will Mister Jackson, from Asiana flight from San Francisco, please come to the desk between gate 18 & 19."  At this point I knew I'd been waiting at baggage claim for nothing.  I went to where the voice had instructed me and said, "Ms. Jackson."  The nice gentleman informed me my bags were in San Francisco.  Of course.  So I had to FaceTime Eunice to see if I could use her number.  After I gave them my info I walked out baggage claim to try and find Eunice and my van driver, in that order.  

This was the first time I had a problem finding Eunice in a crowd because she just blended right in with all the other Koreans(that statement was meant for Eunice).  Although I couldn't see her, I heard a sweet familiar voice come from the crown shout my name.  My heart lit up with joy as we ran into each other's arm.  After we embraced she and I walked back in front of the crowd to try and find my driver.  I say my name on a sign with a nice looking older Korean woman and said with a huge smile on my face, "I am Jande Jackson."  And that nice looking older Korean woman gave me a look of confusion. Then I pointed to the sign and just then this man pushed his way through the crowd from behind the woman and pointed to the sign and nodded.  I nodded.  We connected on the side and we walked Eunice and I out of the airport.

We got in the van and contacted Rachael.  She was about an hour away from her flat, like us.  As we drove, I quickly realized the mountains surrounding the city.  I started to get more excited.  Once we reached Nowon the driver was not sure exactly of the location of Rachael's building so he dropped us off close to it.  Eunice and I walked around until we found it (couldn't have done it without Eun).  We got the Rachael's apartment a few minutes before she arrived and that's that for now.

(at last)

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl

Waiting

Right now I am stilling at home waiting.  I thought I would be packed and ready to go by now, but I am waiting on something call a VIN.  I cannot apply for my visa until I know I have the VIN, so I wait.

BUT, every cloud has it's silver lining.  Mine is more time with TOM!!!

Tom, my boyfriend, has been super supportive throughout this entire process.  Whenever I get kind of depressed about the process and leaving, he does everything he can to get me to relax and smile.  He is truly the one person in the world I can rely on to make me feel better when I am saddest.  I am is so grateful and I blessed to have him during this journey.

Last week he kept on insisting I make time to do a game night with one of our friends.  I couldn't understand why he was so persistent, because as much as I wanted to hangout with everyone, I know it is an impossible task.  So when this friend couldn't make it to my going away party, I was fine and understood.  However, it started to feel like Tom NEEDED to hangout with Sam and me.  I didn't completely understand the situation until Tom said, "I want to hang out with you and Sam one more time before you leave." 

Then it hit me. This move is going to effect his social life as much as mine.  I didn't even occur to me.  Sam, Tom and I have a special relationship when it comes to games.  The three of us make a great nerdy trio and this move is going to break up the trio.  Tom cherished this the times all three of us are together and now I am going to take that away from both of them.

This is the first time I have made a decision and it has greatly effect someone's life.  It broke my heart because I never want to the a reason for sadness in his life.  We got our game night in and it was wonderful.  Can't wait to come back hopefully bring new nerdy games.

BUT for now I am delighted I can wait with him.

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl

Are you counting the days til you leave?

I am on my way to my next country and a new continent, Seoul, South Korea.  I will teach english in a hogwon program.  This is something I have wanted to do for a while, since about 2010 when I heard about it.  I have not felt the time was right to do it until now.  So, once again, The Lord worked everything out and I leave on August 15th to start my new job on August 17th.

For the past few days I have been super sad, borderline depressed, about going.  I just figured I was sad because I have such a GREAT life here.  I could not fully put my finger on why until tonight.

A dear friend of mine asked me, "Are you counting the days til you leave?".
It wasn't until I started responding to this text that I realized what was going on inside me.  Here is my response:

The countdown has me an emotional wreck since 2 days ago. I have a few moments of excitement, but generally I am super sad, boarding depressed. I have such a great life, in general, here. I don't wanna leave, but I think I've known for a while this is what in supposed to do. And now is the time to do it.
However, I don't think I ever pictured me doing this "alone"(unwed). I am having such deep sadness about the process and I believe this reason is at the core of the sadness.
I have NEVER been the person that is sadden by not being married (yet). I've always been so independent and non-dependent. This is just the first thing I've encountered where I had the desire to be married when I do it.
However, I fully understand that I am to do this and I strongly believe I'm to do it right now. 

So today I have to remember, God's leading me where he wants me.  If you read this and wanna pray for me, please do.

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl

Signs: Group One Here

I wrote this years ago, 2010, but I still feel the message it important.

One of my favorite movies is "Signs" by Mr. M. Night Shyamalan. For those of you who might not know the name, he is The Man who brought us "Sixth Sense."  Whenever I am asked the question, "If you could eat dinner with any 5 people in the world, who would they be and why?", M. Night Shyamalan is one out of the three I already have picked out. I am still working on the last two, but that is a tale for another time.

I will not ruin the movie for anyone, but here is a brief quote from the film:

People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I'm sure the people in group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the situation is a fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there's a whole lot of people in group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they're looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever's going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?¹

I proudly fall into group number one. Why? Because, I have seen too many signs in my life. Forget all the huge sings of my life, starting with my time in the Liberian civil unrest. However, I don't want to talk about those issues today. Today, I want to talk about my more recent signs which have allowed me to continue to see God's hand in my life.


I graduated with a $120,00 degree but have not been able to land that "perfect" job. A lot of that has to do with me and where I want to head in life. I am trying to move to Vancouver to become a missionary and have wanted to move to Vancouver for over 10 years now. Thus, when I had gotten a job offer in the past, I would always turn to God to see if I should take the job or not. Throughout these years I have had great/perfect job offers that I have turned down. I have had horrible, by most standards, jobs which I have taken. I feel as if God has always put me exactly where I need to be when I need to be there. I always try to trust in my God, because His track record in my life has been amazing.

One of my favorite songs is:

Salvation is Here
'Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know His word never fails
And I know my God made a way for me

I have been all over the map in my job history (literally all over the map). I recently (2009-2010) spent one year living in Europe and traveling. As I returned from Switzerland to the great US of A, people asked me repeatedly, "What are you going to do [for work] when you return to The States?". I would always respond, "I am not sure. I have a few prospects, but nothing solid. However, I know God will provide for me." Why? I trusted He would provided for me like He provided a lamb for Abraham in his obedience.


On Tuesday August 3rd(2010), I returned to Tennessee with no job and no solid lead. On Sunday August 8th I bumped into someone at church by coincidence. We talked for about 3-5 minutes and she told me to email her when I returned home. Within less then 24 hours he had offered me a job, and I started that job on Tuesday, August 10th. My God provided that job for me right when I needed it. The job was supposed to be for only 2 months. However, it has lasted me until today, 11 weeks. As I walked into my class at church tonight, I was asked, "Have you found a job yet?" and I answered, "No, but I know He will provide." Ten minutes later I got a call from my friend. I had been trying to get a job at the magazine where she works.

I was supposed to have had the interview the previous week, but due to their hectic load at work, it had to be canceled twice. I sent out a text on the morning of the interview asking friends and loved ones to pray, because I had no voice. One hour before the interview, I received an email from the magazine asking me to reschedule my interview. So, as of today when I was in the class, jobless, I still had not heard anything from the magazine about when I could have my interview. Once I got out of class, I called my friend. She told me, even without an interview, the magazine really wanted me to start working TOMORROW. That's right, once again my God provided.  I was never worried about when next paycheck would come; I knew He would give me my lamb right when I need it.

So why I in group number one? Just from this story, I witnessed God providing a job for me right when I need it twice. Plus, when I had no voice to do the interview, He took away the interview. I know God is watching over me.

To You, God, I say, "Kiitos."

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl

Purpose

Why did I finally give in and start blogging?

I really just needed an outlet to expression issues. Sometimes I might write about somethig I talk about with everyone in my life. Other times I might write about something I feel as if I cannot discuss with anyone else.  This is honestly an outlet for me to let out all I bottle up... at least I hope that is what it becomes.

If you noticed the "tagline" of this blogs says "Log of My Relationships and Journey." The reason for that tag is simple, my life is a journey consisting of many relationships.

I am a Christian. I am on a journey in this life, as we all are on a journey. According to Webster.com the noun journey is defined as:
1 : an act or instance of traveling from one place to another : trip
2 chiefly dialect : a day's travel
3 : something suggesting travel or passage from one place to another

Whether or you share my beliefs, you cannot deny the fact that life is a journey. We are all traveling from one point to the other. The point which I travel towards is very specific. It is based on my relationship with God.

RELATIONSHIP? That's right. A lot of people, I feel, do not realize that Jesus example of how to live on this earth was based on relationships. He had relationships with not only his followers, friends, family on this earth, but also with God.

Since the day I realized ALL the Lord has done for me in my life, I decided I wanted to serve Him. [I will fill you in on God's amazing work in my life at another time.] I have taken on the mindset of being a Christ Follower, a.k.a. Christian. Honestly, I have not been the best example of this all the time.

Lately, I have been thinking, in order to be more effecting my mission to be more like Christ, I need to have mission statement. As I tried to make my life statement, I kept thinking it needed to be something long and complicated. I, however, talked with a wise man who he told me to keep it short and simple. He told me make sure it is something I use as a filter for all my life decisions.
Around that time, I also ran across a verse. After reading that verse, I decided I wanted those words put on my tombstone when I die. The verse comes from John 17. In this section, Jesus talked to God right before his arrest which led to his death. Jesus says, "I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do." John 17:4 ESV

After, I came to the conclusion of what I want to say at the end of this relationship journey here on this earth, I finally knew my mission statement.

Live a life

reflecting Jesus' purpose of bring 

glory to The Father.

I want this blog to be a chronicle of my life journey and relationships. I want to be as honest as possible here. I pray that all I do will be a reflection of my goal to live out my mission statement.

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl