11 July 2013

Are you counting the days til you leave?

I am on my way to my next country and a new continent, Seoul, South Korea.  I will teach english in a hogwon program.  This is something I have wanted to do for a while, since about 2010 when I heard about it.  I have not felt the time was right to do it until now.  So, once again, The Lord worked everything out and I leave on August 15th to start my new job on August 17th.

For the past few days I have been super sad, borderline depressed, about going.  I just figured I was sad because I have such a GREAT life here.  I could not fully put my finger on why until tonight.

A dear friend of mine asked me, "Are you counting the days til you leave?".
It wasn't until I started responding to this text that I realized what was going on inside me.  Here is my response:
The countdown has me an emotional wreck since 2 days ago. I have a few moments of excitement, but generally I am super sad, boarding depressed. I have such a great life, in general, here. I don't wanna leave, but I think I've known for a while this is what in supposed to do. And now is the time to do it.
However, I don't think I ever pictured me doing this "alone"(unwed). I am having such deep sadness about the process and I believe this reason is at the core of the sadness.
I have NEVER been the person that is sadden by not being married (yet). I've always been so independent and non-dependent. This is just the first thing I've encountered where I had the desire to be married when I do it.
However, I fully understand that I am to do this and I strongly believe I'm to do it right now. 
So today I have to remember, God's leading me where he wants me.  If you read this and wanna pray for me, please do.

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl

Signs: Group One Here

I wrote this years ago, 2010, but I still feel the message it important.

One of my favorite movies is "Signs" by Mr. M. Night Shyamalan. For those of you who might not know the name, he is The Man who brought us "Sixth Sense."  Whenever I am asked the question, "If you could eat dinner with any 5 people in the world, who would they be and why?", M. Night Shyamalan is one out of the three I already have picked out. I am still working on the last two, but that is a tale for another time.

I will not ruin the movie for anyone, but here is a brief quote from the film:
People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I'm sure the people in group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the situation is a fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there's a whole lot of people in group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they're looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever's going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?1
I proudly fall into group number one. Why? Because, I have seen too many signs in my life. Forget all the huge sings of my life, starting with my time in the Liberian civil unrest. However, I don't want to talk about those issues today. Today, I want to talk about my more recent signs which have allowed me to continue to see God's hand in my life.


I graduated with a $120,00 degree but have not been able to land that "perfect" job. A lot of that has to do with me and where I want to head in life. I am trying to move to Vancouver to become a missionary and have wanted to move to Vancouver for over 10 years now. Thus, when I had gotten a job offer in the past, I would always turn to God to see if I should take the job or not. Throughout these years I have had great/perfect job offers that I have turned down. I have had horrible, by most standards, jobs which I have taken. I feel as if God has always put me exactly where I need to be when I need to be there. I always try to trust in my God, because His track record in my life has been amazing.

One of my favorite songs is:
Salvation is Here
'Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know His word never fails
And I know my God made a way for me

I have been all over the map in my job history (literally all over the map). I recently (2009-2010) spent one year living in Europe and traveling. As I returned from Switzerland to the great US of A, people asked me repeatedly, "What are you going to do [for work] when you return to The States?". I would always respond, "I am not sure. I have a few prospects, but nothing solid. However, I know God will provide for me." Why? I trusted He would provided for me like He provided a lamb for Abraham in his obedience.


On Tuesday August 3rd(2010), I returned to Tennessee with no job and no solid lead. On Sunday August 8th I bumped into someone at church by coincidence. We talked for about 3-5 minutes and she told me to email her when I returned home. Within less then 24 hours he had offered me a job, and I started that job on Tuesday, August 10th. My God provided that job for me right when I needed it. The job was supposed to be for only 2 months. However, it has lasted me until today, 11 weeks. As I walked into my class at church tonight, I was asked, "Have you found a job yet?" and I answered, "No, but I know He will provide." Ten minutes later I got a call from my friend. I had been trying to get a job at the magazine where she works.

I was supposed to have had the interview the previous week, but due to their hectic load at work, it had to be canceled twice. I sent out a text on the morning of the interview asking friends and loved ones to pray, because I had no voice. One hour before the interview, I received an email from the magazine asking me to reschedule my interview. So, as of today when I was in the class, jobless, I still had not heard anything from the magazine about when I could have my interview. Once I got out of class, I called my friend. She told me, even without an interview, the magazine really wanted me to start working TOMORROW. That's right, once again my God provided.  I was never worried about when next paycheck would come; I knew He would give me my lamb right when I need it.

So why I in group number one? Just from this story, I witnessed God providing a job for me right when I need it twice. Plus, when I had no voice to do the interview, He took away the interview. I know God is watching over me.

To You, God, I say, "Kiitos."

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl

Purpose

Why did I finally give in and start blogging?

I really just needed an outlet to expression issues. Sometimes I might write about somethig I talk about with everyone in my life. Other times I might write about something I feel as if I cannot discuss with anyone else.  This is honestly an outlet for me to let out all I bottle up... at least I hope that is what it becomes.

If you noticed the "tagline" of this blogs says "Log of My Relationships and Journey." The reason for that tag is simple, my life is a journey consisting of many relationships.

I am a Christian. I am on a journey in this life, as we all are on a journey. According to Webster.com the noun journey is defined as:
1 : an act or instance of traveling from one place to another : trip
2 chiefly dialect : a day's travel
3 : something suggesting travel or passage from one place to another

Whether or you share my beliefs, you cannot deny the fact that life is a journey. We are all traveling from one point to the other. The point which I travel towards is very specific. It is based on my relationship with God.

RELATIONSHIP? That's right. A lot of people, I feel, do not realize that Jesus example of how to live on this earth was based on relationships. He had relationships with not only his followers, friends, family on this earth, but also with God.

Since the day I realized ALL the Lord has done for me in my life, I decided I wanted to serve Him. [I will fill you in on God's amazing work in my life at another time.] I have taken on the mindset of being a Christ Follower, a.k.a. Christian. Honestly, I have not been the best example of this all the time.

Lately, I have been thinking, in order to be more effecting my mission to be more like Christ, I need to have mission statement. As I tried to make my life statement, I kept thinking it needed to be something long and complicated. I, however, talked with a wise man who he told me to keep it short and simple. He told me make sure it is something I use as a filter for all my life decisions.
Around that time, I also ran across a verse. After reading that verse, I decided I wanted those words put on my tombstone when I die. The verse comes from John 17. In this section, Jesus talked to God right before his arrest which led to his death. Jesus says, "I glorified you on earth, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do." John 17:4 ESV

After, I came to the conclusion of what I want to say at the end of this relationship journey here on this earth, I finally knew my mission statement.


Live a life
reflecting Jesus' purpose of bring 
glory to The Father.

I want this blog to be a chronicle of my life journey and relationships. I want to be as honest as possible here. I pray that all I do will be a reflection of my goal to live out my mission statement.

Laters Ya'll,

miss Phyl